By chess grandmaster Ray Keene, chess columnist for The Times, Sunday Times and Spectator and author of over 100 books on mind sports.
A Bridge Too Far
What better way to get chat and controversy going than insults and murder?
Who shot whom
over a game of bridge?
Bridge is a social game
which tests partnership skills as well
as pure playing strategy. Since mind sports players are
notorious individualists it is hardly surprising that an
entire arsenal of withering insult has been built up
around the game. Consider the following which have
entered the mythology of the game and which I have taken
from Robert Sheehan's new book, "The Big
Game" published by Five Aces Books.
Remember that all of these choice insults are
aimed at partner
- your supposed friend and ally!!
'Every day you play worse and worse but today
you are playing like it's tomorrow.'
'If
you are accused in a court of law of being able to play
bridge I'll defend you for free.'
'Question - how
should I have played that hand?
Answer - under an assumed name!'
'There's only one player in this partnership
who can lead trump and it ain't you kid!'
'I can
see that you learnt to play today but could you tell me
at what time today?'
'The trouble with you is that
your mouth ain't connected to your brain.'
But the
game is also a ritual, a social device, to meet people
in a friendly but structured setting. Here is a
definitive statement by an English financial analyst, a
keen but, on his own admission, poor player.
'Bridge is not what you think. It is almost like a metaphor for life. Some years ago I was invited to make up a four and found myself partnering a woman I had not met before.
We were
engaged the next day and married as soon as was decent.
Anyone who tells you that bridge is only a game doesn't
know what he's talking about.'
The (anti-)social
dimension of the game also made its fateful appearance
almost as soon as the game was born. Bridge's
first tragedy
occurred in Kansas City in 1931 when John Bennett, a perfume salesman, played a 'friendly' game with his wife against their neighbours, the Hoffmans.
Late in the evening he played a hand so badly
that a furious row started between him and his wife. The
Hoffmans' embarrassment turned to terror when Mrs
Bennett left the room, fetched a pistol and shot
her husband dead. The interest aroused was such
that famous Bridge expert Ely Culbertson himself was
asked to analyse the hand. Mrs Bennett was later
tried for murder but acquitted. They take their bridge seriously in Kansas.
The infamous hand was as follows:
|
North |
 |
A1063 |
 |
1085 |
 |
4 |
 |
A9842 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
South |
| |
KJ985 |
| |
A763 |
| |
85 |
| |
K10 |
| West |
North |
East |
South |
| - |
- |
- |
1 |
| 2
|
4 |
Pass |
All Pass
|
Lead : A
At trick two West switches to the jack of clubs. Plan your line of play.
You are in danger of losing
a spade, two hearts and a diamond
. Maybe you can pick up the spade suit for no loser, but it is best to assume that there will be a spade loser and work out how to avoid losing two heart tricks.
Win the K
at trick two and
draw two rounds of trumps. If the Q has dropped you
are home, but let us assume it is still outstanding. You
next play the A from dummy and
then the 9, discarding a heart if East
plays low. Say West ruffs with the queen and switches to
a heart. You win in hand, ruff a diamond and ruff a
club, establishing the thirteenth card in the suit. You
now cross to dummy with a trump, cash the 8, discarding a second
heart, give up a heart and claim the remainder.
You lost one club trick instead of two hearts -
a fair exchange.
This was the full deal:
|
|
|
A1063 |
|
|
|
|
|
1085 |
|
|
|
|
|
4 |
|
|
|
|
|
A9842 |
|
|
| |
Q72 |
|
|
|
4 |
| |
KJ2 |
|
|
|
Q94 |
| |
AQ1092 |
|
|
|
KJ763 |
| |
J6 |
|
|
|
Q753 |
|
|
|
KJ985 |
|
|
|
|
|
A763 |
|
|
|
|
|
85 |
|
|
|
|
|
K10 |
|
|
When the hand was dealt, in 1929,
the declarer Mr Bennett started by playing the
J
to dummy's
A
but when East showed out on the second round of trumps he more or less gave up. Perhaps discouraged by her partner's play Mrs Bennett went to her room, fetched her pistol and shot him dead.
This story is true - can anyone supply more
details - can readers locate the court transcript - is
it true that the great Ely Culbertson himself appeared
in court for the defence and that the judge actually
said that he would have shot the husband too if
he had played so badly
? Did Mrs. Bennett go on to establish a fearsome career in tournament bridge?
These are the questions we would like answered.
And finally, was the husband's play so bad as to justify being shot? Let's have your votes on this!
- Ray Keene
Please feel free
to leave any comments, thoughts, or votes on the Scandal
of the Month message board.
